Monkey Butt Stew

2000-10-11T01:16:00.000-07:00

Not much new on the docket this morning. Sona and I watched "Seven" again last night. It's one of here favorite movies. Not the scariest movie in the world, but it sure does give me the "willies".

Try to fit this into conversation today:...."and then I scratched it till it bled."

2000-10-08T05:59:00.000-07:00

Yes, I said I'd try to update this on a daily basis, and yea, I've screwed the pooch already. But, not to worry, I was wearing protection. Yesterday was spent by Sona and myself registering for our wedding. COOOOOOOOOOL!!!!! They gave me this little scanner gun so I could go down the aisles and ZAP! everything that we wanted to add to the list. It was so much fun, that I didn't give a damn that most of the stuff I was ZAP!ing were things that I had no opinion on as to whether we owned or not. "Hey, get those hand towels....ZAP!! Oh Yeah!!......Pots and Pans....stand back everyone so no one gets hurt...ZAPP!! That's what I'm talkin' about baby!!

I even tried to ZAP! Sona's ass, but it didn't register. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Next Episode:The Banana Shits

2000-10-06T01:21:00.000-07:00

God bless Southeast Georgia. I spend about 9 hrs. a day delivering auto parts for a living. The people are a unique breed. There are good ones, there are bad ones, but they are all rednecks. And I tell you, that makes for a regular comedy cavalcade. Thanks to 2000 being an election year, the landscape is littered with signs touting prospects for government positions....and no, by "government positions" I don't mean one involving a cigar(OK, There it is, the obligatory Clinton joke~ don't get use to it). Anyway, I've noticed quite a few odd names on these signs. So, if you live in the Southeast Georgia area, and are eligible to vote please elect the following:

R.C. "Dick" Champagne
Marcus Lee Sweat
Harvin Proveaux
Ronnie McQuaig
Doobie Clark
Saxby Chambliss
"Pap" Hutto
Nat Houseal
Melba Fiveash
Clyde Bryson
Bill Crapps ( I bet he does)
Reavis E. Dixon (Please tell his best friend is named Rutthead)

Not to be outdone, some of the body shop owners and general mee-kanic types that I deal with on a daily basis have some kooky names themselves, but please don't put them in office:

Cleve Weaver(Oooooh, Cleve Weaver, I believe you can get me thru the night)
Bill Gates
Larry LeCount
Stubbs Harden(oddly enough, he has all of his extremities)
Dub Woodard
MACK HEAD(For some reason, that just needs to be capitalized)

Currently 4:17 am eastern time......Time to go to work....but before I depart, I'd like to propose a daily challenge to everyone. At some point during the day, try to insert this phrase into conversation: "Great! I'll get the bucket!"

Next episode: Frogs of War

2000-10-05T17:05:00.000-07:00

.......and away we go!! The place:Jacksonville, FL. The cast of characters: Myself, Sona(my fiance'), Kim(Sona's best friend), Kyle(Sona's son), and Moe(Our 9 week old Lab/Sheperd Mix) Our story begins right about now...today was a good day.....about a week and a half ago I kicked my little brother, Brian, out of my house, well, because he is 20 and a completely irresponsible slacker who spends all his time getting high and I am 31 and trying my damdest to become an actual real-life boring adult, and never the twain shall meet. Anyway, Brian finally got his stuff out yesterday, and we moved Kyle into Brian's room, and the computer into Kyle's room. What is the importance of this? Well, the computer was formerly in the dining room which adjoined the living, home of the big screen TV. In other words, any chance of concentrating on what I was doing at the computer was completely out of the question. But NOW, I have quiet. NOW, I have peace. And now I can think. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Next episode:Waking Ded Nevine.